I'm coming at this from a week hiatus again - last Monday night, I barely slept, and so was in no shape to write anything coherent Tuesday morning. I really should try to write some of this ahead of time, as I do my reviews, but as much as I keep thinking that, I've been very bad about actually fitting it into my routine.
TV
The Flash - "Rogue Time" and "Tricksters"
The follow-up to the whole Barry-goes-back-in-time was quite satisfying. The character who died didn't, thankfully, but there were new complications, and a nice reworking of some of the same dialogue in an eerily similar scene that didn't end with murder. I also liked the impact of having missed those days on Iris - Barry moved too fast, she hadn't been through them, and things are messy again. I'm not sure I love the Iris love interest - Linda was frankly, more interesting. But I do like the complications here.
Which leads us into the second episode, and had me momentarily wondering if there was some weird mind-sharing going on with Dr. Wells, something like Firestorm. But nope. Now it's even sadder, knowing what happened to Dr. Wells. Also creepier. It was also nice to see Mark Hamill, doing his best not-quite-the-Joker.
Agents of SHIELD - "Love in the Time of Hydra" and "One Door Closes"
These were both quite good episodes, although I think my enjoyment of the second was hampered by the fact that I was severely underslept and not tracking so well. We get a Ward-centric episode. Interesting. He's still creepy.
We also find out about the pseudo-SHIELD that Mockingbird is working for, and it's good enough to make us see why Bobbi has loyalties to the second SHIELD, although it's obvious she's wrong. Poor Bobbi. Also, Gemma has such a wonderful moment in it that I did not see coming. Always nice to see Charlie from Fringe, too!
Arrow - "Suicidal Tendencies" and "Public Enemy"
Interesting. Very interesting. I think Thea will be more than a little pissed off at the end of the most recent episode. I mean, did Roy even check in with her first? Actually, both episodes have been about relationships going through stress tests - Diggle and Lyla get married, and then immediately embark on a mission that has a satisfying twist to it. Ray goes after the Arrow, and has to decide whether to trust Felicity. Then Felicity has to decide whether or not she really cares about Ray.
And Oliver tries to find a way out from under Ra's Al-Ghul's thumb. This has been a good season.
Movies
Witness for the Prosecution
This came on Turner Classic Movies the other night, and Bill and I settled in to watch it, and enjoyed it most thoroughly. I did guess the main twist fairly early on, although there was a twist to the twist that I didn't see coming. Charles Laughton is amazingly good, and I enjoyed watching Marlene Dietrich. I don't think I've ever seen either of them in a movie before. Psychological courtroom thrillers - it possibly doesn't get any better than this.
Gaming
Seven Stars of Atlantis
Only one game the last two weeks, which might account for some of the grumpiness I've been experiencing. The penultimate session of our pulp game run by my husband! The whole gang is finally back together, with Su Li joining forces with Margot, Teddy, and Rex again. Margot and Su Li had a chance to talk while under enemy fire, and that relationship isn't fixed, but it certainly wasn't hurt by Su Li calling Margot magnificent. Margot's been so anxious that compliments definitely work.
Of course, Margot flaunted her engagement ring in Su Li's face as soon as possible, so she's still a spoiled rich girl.
Other than that, from my perspective? It was interesting how much being in Antarctica and finding Teddy's ancestral home worried Margot. She thought he might decide to stay, but was even more worried about how he might be sacrificed. She was entirely willing to shove an old man into the machine instead, to save Teddy's life, but didn't get the chance.
However, near the end, I was struck by an awful idea - Margot's already proved she'll do something that makes Teddy hate her, if it'll save his life. I think she'd do it again, if necessary. He's told her in no uncertain terms never to do that again. I mentioned this to Bill, and he got an evil grin on his face. Never mention things to the GM.
Poor Margot. She may be headed for a tragic ending. I'd like to see a happy one, but this time, I'm not sure. Also, I would be dramatically satisfied by a sadder ending, although it wouldn't perhaps be my first choice.
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies. Show all posts
Tuesday, 7 April 2015
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
A Week in Stories - March 17
I was very sick all last week, so both of my extra blog posts, this one and the old SF one, fell by the wayside. I already had reviews written to get me through the week, although now I'm scrambling to catch up on writing reviews for the books I plowed through while I didn't have anything else to do. So we'll try to pack two weeks into one.
TV
Agents of SHIELD, "Shadows" and "Heavy is the Head"
I have complained quite a lot about how Trip's death at the mid-season break was not a good one, dramatically, as he didn't really matter enough to anyone on the show to make it have dramatic impact. They tried to fix that by having everyone mourn, and that was well done, but it doesn't fix the underlying problem.
Gemma's reaction to what's going on is pretty overblown and not very scientific - by the time Raina had been on the run for several hours and there weren't any cases of contagious superpower diseases, that would pretty much blow the epidemiological explanation out of the water, and she's too smart for that. I like the tack of making her more afraid and willing to do more to compensate. Just don't make her a bad scientist.
On the other hand, the Fitz stuff was wonderful, and the actor really stuck it all. Love Fitz. Love what they've been doing with him, and that they haven't backed away from trying to incorporate a character with the kind of damage he has into the show.
For the rest? I'm impressed they didn't drag out the reveal about Skye, I loved the reappearance of Lady Sif, and I'm happy with the resolution - that Skye is dangerous, but less dangerous when she's around people she cares about than she would be rotting off in some Asgardian prison somewhere. And it's poignant that it was her mother who used to help people like her learn to control her powers, and she's gone.
Movies
Five Card Stud
Not a big movie week. Just this Western, starring Dean Martin and Robert Mitchum. With, of course, lounge theme song. A man is lynched after cheating at poker. The poker players start to turn up dead. Who is behind it? (The answer will really not surprise anyone.) Meh. It was okay.
Roleplaying Games
Seven Stars of Atlantis
We're getting near the end of our pulp game - two more sittings, I think. With a brief detour for dinosaurs in Antarctica, because dinosaurs. Let's see. This was almost a week and a half ago, so what is there to say.
Oh, hey! My character Margot got engaged! Teddy finally popped the question, and she said yes pretty much before he'd finished talking. Later on, I wondered if I should have spent some time being more suspicious and asking Teddy to prove that he loved Margot, but in the moment, it didn't feel right. She wanted a perfect romantic moment, and she got it. Now, they just have to survive imminent danger before they can get married.
Right. There was one more thing I wanted to think about, and that's my process for playing scenes. I get my fun out of roleplaying by getting into character and reacting from that perspective. I think of it a lot like my acting process - I think about things a lot ahead of time, trace possibilities, but when I get into a scene, I do my best to forget all that on a conscious level and just trust myself that it's there in the subconscious. I try not to think through what I'm going to say or what I'm going to do - I just do them. For the most part, I'm successful.
Rex and Margot were trying to patch up their differences, and they made a start, but it'll be a long slow process. Getting past that kind of mistrust and anger is not going to be taken care of in one conversation (or one lesson on how to shoot, as the case may be.) I think that frustrated the other player, as he wanted to get past it more quickly than I felt worked for me, and I was a bit taken aback when he asked if I always needed to have a snappy answer for everything. Because I'm not thinking things through ahead of time, the answer is: yes, if one occurs to me, and it feels right for the character.
Bill has pointed out that I tend to play strong-willed, opinionated characters. I told him that that's unlikely to change anytime soon. Still, Margot and Rex have made baby steps towards an eventual peace, and for me, that feels exactly right.
Paper Dolls
This was the night before I got sick, but still, it was a good evening! For my three different versions of the main character, one (Trix) was largely on the sidelines, and now I think that maybe I should have made a little scene out of that - she's used to being in the thick of whatever's going on, and giving up that control and being powerless to help was difficult for her, but we didn't get to see any of that at the table.
Of the other two, the alcoholic one who stole the baby of the third character, found out she really didn't enjoy taking care of a squalling baby, and was more than happy to let one of Colin's characters rescue the child. She's the only one of my three characters I don't see a redemption for. But I have been surprised before!
My third, poor Bee, came back to the two people she'd run away from (again), and is trying very hard to face the music, and it's interesting. I'm enjoying playing through the scenes from the perspective of someone who is trying very hard to be mature and give other people space and let them decide if they can trust me again, while at the same time, wanting to push things, and be wrapped up in their arms, and hear that she's forgiven. It's an intriguing balancing act.
TV
Agents of SHIELD, "Shadows" and "Heavy is the Head"
I have complained quite a lot about how Trip's death at the mid-season break was not a good one, dramatically, as he didn't really matter enough to anyone on the show to make it have dramatic impact. They tried to fix that by having everyone mourn, and that was well done, but it doesn't fix the underlying problem.
Gemma's reaction to what's going on is pretty overblown and not very scientific - by the time Raina had been on the run for several hours and there weren't any cases of contagious superpower diseases, that would pretty much blow the epidemiological explanation out of the water, and she's too smart for that. I like the tack of making her more afraid and willing to do more to compensate. Just don't make her a bad scientist.
On the other hand, the Fitz stuff was wonderful, and the actor really stuck it all. Love Fitz. Love what they've been doing with him, and that they haven't backed away from trying to incorporate a character with the kind of damage he has into the show.
For the rest? I'm impressed they didn't drag out the reveal about Skye, I loved the reappearance of Lady Sif, and I'm happy with the resolution - that Skye is dangerous, but less dangerous when she's around people she cares about than she would be rotting off in some Asgardian prison somewhere. And it's poignant that it was her mother who used to help people like her learn to control her powers, and she's gone.
Movies
Five Card Stud
Not a big movie week. Just this Western, starring Dean Martin and Robert Mitchum. With, of course, lounge theme song. A man is lynched after cheating at poker. The poker players start to turn up dead. Who is behind it? (The answer will really not surprise anyone.) Meh. It was okay.
Roleplaying Games
Seven Stars of Atlantis
We're getting near the end of our pulp game - two more sittings, I think. With a brief detour for dinosaurs in Antarctica, because dinosaurs. Let's see. This was almost a week and a half ago, so what is there to say.
Oh, hey! My character Margot got engaged! Teddy finally popped the question, and she said yes pretty much before he'd finished talking. Later on, I wondered if I should have spent some time being more suspicious and asking Teddy to prove that he loved Margot, but in the moment, it didn't feel right. She wanted a perfect romantic moment, and she got it. Now, they just have to survive imminent danger before they can get married.
Right. There was one more thing I wanted to think about, and that's my process for playing scenes. I get my fun out of roleplaying by getting into character and reacting from that perspective. I think of it a lot like my acting process - I think about things a lot ahead of time, trace possibilities, but when I get into a scene, I do my best to forget all that on a conscious level and just trust myself that it's there in the subconscious. I try not to think through what I'm going to say or what I'm going to do - I just do them. For the most part, I'm successful.
Rex and Margot were trying to patch up their differences, and they made a start, but it'll be a long slow process. Getting past that kind of mistrust and anger is not going to be taken care of in one conversation (or one lesson on how to shoot, as the case may be.) I think that frustrated the other player, as he wanted to get past it more quickly than I felt worked for me, and I was a bit taken aback when he asked if I always needed to have a snappy answer for everything. Because I'm not thinking things through ahead of time, the answer is: yes, if one occurs to me, and it feels right for the character.
Bill has pointed out that I tend to play strong-willed, opinionated characters. I told him that that's unlikely to change anytime soon. Still, Margot and Rex have made baby steps towards an eventual peace, and for me, that feels exactly right.
Paper Dolls
This was the night before I got sick, but still, it was a good evening! For my three different versions of the main character, one (Trix) was largely on the sidelines, and now I think that maybe I should have made a little scene out of that - she's used to being in the thick of whatever's going on, and giving up that control and being powerless to help was difficult for her, but we didn't get to see any of that at the table.
Of the other two, the alcoholic one who stole the baby of the third character, found out she really didn't enjoy taking care of a squalling baby, and was more than happy to let one of Colin's characters rescue the child. She's the only one of my three characters I don't see a redemption for. But I have been surprised before!
My third, poor Bee, came back to the two people she'd run away from (again), and is trying very hard to face the music, and it's interesting. I'm enjoying playing through the scenes from the perspective of someone who is trying very hard to be mature and give other people space and let them decide if they can trust me again, while at the same time, wanting to push things, and be wrapped up in their arms, and hear that she's forgiven. It's an intriguing balancing act.
Tuesday, 17 February 2015
A Week In Stories: February 17
The Dust Cover Dust-Up is done, my favourite books have been revealed for a week now, and I'm left with a bit of a hole in my blog schedule. Thursdays, I've decided, will be taken up by a more regular edition of my old science fiction story reviews. What to do with Tuesdays? I'm reading up a storm right now, but not really enough to regularly finish four books a week.
Then, prompted by a book, I started to think about stories, and how much I'm a story addict. It doesn't matter what form they come in. Books are my favourite medium, but I also take in TV, movies, roleplaying games, anything that will bootleg a little more story into my life.
So I'm going to try an experiment in writing brief paragraphs about the other stories I've interacted with each week, and any thoughts they might have sparked. It should perhaps go without saying that there may be spoilers, although I'll try not to go overboard.
Movies
Safety Not Guaranteed
We actually watched two movies this week. How weird is that? (We were both sick at different points in the week, so there was more sitting around and watching things than normal.) I liked Safety Not Guaranteed. The dialogue was good, the themes about trying to get back the past were interesting. This movie would probably not have worked without Audrey Plaza, but because it had her, it really did. It's surprisingly sweet.
How To Train Your Dragon
I have just one question. Among these Vikings, why are all the parents Scottish and all the kids American?
Also, Bill and I kept talking for Toothless like he was one of our cats. ("I noms you? Okay, I noms you.")
Overall, this was fine, but not spectacular. I got distracted during the last 15 minutes by some health issues I've been having (sore shoulder), but Bill assures me the good guys won.
Television
The Flash - "The Nuclear Man"
When my husband and I sit down and talk about this show and Arrow, the one thing we often remark on as a strength of both is that they don't drag out secrets. They push the story forward, often in interesting ways, and don't sit on something for a whole season and have a revelation at the end. So in this episode, we not only find out what happened to Ronnie, we find out a whole lot more about the night Barry's mother was killed.
Also, when Joe told Cisco that he thought Dr. Wells was possibly a murderer, Bill and I cheered and high-fived, since we've been saying for a couple of episodes that Joe is too good a detective to not at least explore that. I love Joe. The relationship between Barry and Joe is the best part of the show.
Agent Carter - "A Sin To Err"
Agent Carter has been so much fun to watch. We keep remarking that Peggy doesn't just win fights, she destroys her opposition. There were a couple of moments that stood out for me - the scene in the alley with Sousa (that might also be my crush on Enver Gjokaj talking), and of course Lindsay Fonseca finally getting something to do. I've really enjoyed Peggy's arc, and in general, they've done a masterful job of making the sexism Peggy has to deal with the main focus of the series without making the whole experience less than fun. Bill keeps calling it the anti-Mad Men.
Arrow - "Canaries"
Laurel is not my favourite character, but it's better than last season. This was mostly her episode, coming to terms with becoming the Black Canary. The writers continue to give Emily Bett Rickards the best lines, even when she's mostly in the background, and she just kills them. I would do a lot to have the ability she has at delivering lines perfectly. Also, this was a great object lesson in how to take a reveal everyone has seen coming and turn it on its head. Thea's reaction to finally finding out Oliver is the Arrow was far more interesting than what we were expecting. They also took that creepy DJ and revealed his secret to everyone else only episodes after they let the audience in on it! This show teaches me so much about how the aftermath of a secret is more interesting than the suspense.
Roleplaying
Paper Dolls
This is a hard game to explain. For one, we're playing without a GM or system. If we came up against a point in the story where we were arguing over what was going to happen next, we would probably pull a tarot card and let that guide where it would go. It hasn't happened yet. The biggest innovation in this one, though, is that, with three players, we're each playing three characters, giving us nine player characters. Each of us is playing three variations on the same person - think Fringe, where there are similarities between dimensions, but also important differences.
This was episode 5, and we're continuing to come up with interesting places to take the story, and unexpected outcomes. In particular for me this episode, one of my characters (named Trix) was bound and determined she was going to break up with her cheating girlfriend, but Melissa played the hell out of the girlfriend, and they are still together in a really unhealthy relationship.
Overall, I am having a blast. I miss having a GM sometimes - having to keep that part of my brain awake sometimes gets in the way of immersion into my characters, which is the most fun part of roleplaying as far as I'm concerned. Sometimes it feels like we're reaching for the heavy emotion in every single scene, and perhaps we need to find a way of leavening that with other types of scenes, for flavour and texture.
Seven Stars of Atlantis
My husband's pulp roleplaying game is drawing to a close, and three out of four characters have possession of a titular Star of Atlantis (huge gems with amazing powers). The fourth is the servant of the gems. He's a little worried about the implications of that, particularly since his girlfriend has possession of one of the stones and could make him do whatever she wants. (I play her. She hasn't yet.) Two big bad guys have two of the stones apiece, now bringing all seven on the table. Plus, we met Edgar Cayce this past session!
But what I want to talk about in this space is how I've just figured out what my character's looking for, now that she's not dying anymore. (Her name is Margot.) For the first two-thirds of the game, she was dying from what she thought was an Egyptian curse, but turned out to be a slow-acting poison. One of the other player characters was recently able to obtain the antidote for her, at the cost of seemingly betraying the group. That's going to lead to an interesting conversation in a couple of weeks, I hope.
When Margot thought it was a curse, she drove away the love of her life (Teddy) quite cruelly, because she feared it would spread to him. She decided that knowing he was hurting but alive was better than if he were there to give her comfort and ended up dying alongside her. Also that if he knew, he'd take the risk and stay by her side, something he has since agreed would have been the case.
It was an arrogant decision, as it took it entirely out of Teddy's hands. They're back together now, but in the meantime, he spent a year trying to hate her, and she spent a year afraid, alone, and in pain.
That's all background. This most recent session, Margot and Rex, the dashing adventure hero and her sometime bodyguard, had their biggest fight yet. (There have been a few. From Margot's perspective, she keeps trying to start to make peace, and then gets furious at him. I'm sure it looks different from the other side.) Margot and Su Li, the friend who got the cure for her, also had a big fight not long before the betrayal.
In both cases, people have remarked that Margot really seems to care what the others think of her. She broods on these fights after they're done more than you might think. After the last session, Bill asked if what was going on was that Margot really was afraid of being a spoiled rich girl, even though that's a title she owns to some degree. I think he's right, but I think it's more. I think the last year, in all its isolation and pain, has given her a real issue where she's afraid she's unlovable.
Part of this is that she's focusing on what people say to her instead of what they do, and so she's missing or misinterpreting whether or not they care about her. When Su Li called Margot a spoiled rich girl in the middle of a party and said she cared about nothing but herself, she's been carrying that hurt around far more than she has noticed that Su Li sacrificed her own freedom to get the antidote. (Mostly she hasn't noticed it because it looked a lot like betraying them and using Teddy's life as leverage to get a Star out of Margot.)
When Rex came thundering up the stairs to find out urgently whether or not his helping Su Li betray Margot and Teddy had gotten Margot the antidote she needed, Margot sees the part where he helped betray them, and then yet again forced her health to be a public issue when she was trying to keep it quiet. (She was going to wait until she knew whether or not the antidote worked before she got Teddy's hopes up. Rex forced it out in the open right away.) She doesn't see the part where he was terribly worried for her life.
And she dwells on the arguments, where Rex tells her she is cruel, selfish, spoiled, frivolous, and disappointing, and doesn't listen when she tells him to stop trying to be her "bodyguard, her father or her owner." He does feel paternal towards her, but she sees it as trying to control her life, and she hates it, and feels powerless because he refuses to listen to anything she says.
It feels like everyone is telling her she's horrible. (Since I play her, I'm a little protective. She is spoiled and arrogant. She's also open-handed, generous, loyal, resourceful, and indomitable. Nobody seems to mention those latter qualities.) This is even more of an issue because she's carrying some lingering hurt because Teddy didn't act the way she thought he would when he found out why she'd driven him away.
This one is completely unrealistic, but I think that in the year she spent alone and in pain, she concocted a fantasy about what would happen if Teddy found out she were dying - that he'd rush to her side, swear undying love, and it would all be terribly romantic. She held on to that to keep her going. Unsurprisingly, it didn't happen quite like that. He knew for a couple of weeks before he told her. He didn't sweep her into his arms and swear undying love. He tried to respect what she wanted and keep his distance, which is not what she actually wanted. She wanted him to be so crazy in love with her that he couldn't stay away. They're back together, but it hasn't been that passionate. Worst of all, she discovered an engagement ring in the bottom of his pack, and now that they're back together, it hasn't made a reappearance.
In this case, it's completely unrealistic. Teddy has his own stuff going down. For a long time, she was in too much pain for romance. Still, there's a lingering disappointment, but more than that, an underlying fear that he doesn't really love her. That Su Li was right, he's sticking around out of a sense of duty. That now that she's not dying, he's stuck with her, but he really rather wishes he wasn't.
Add that to big fights where people keep telling her she's a horrible person - and we go into the last two sessions with Margot feeling like most people hate her, and maybe she's unlovable. I don't know what that'll do to the final showdown, but it might do something.
Also, maybe I overthink my characters.
So, if you made it through all that (and I'll be a little surprised if you did), what stories snuck into your life this week?
Then, prompted by a book, I started to think about stories, and how much I'm a story addict. It doesn't matter what form they come in. Books are my favourite medium, but I also take in TV, movies, roleplaying games, anything that will bootleg a little more story into my life.
So I'm going to try an experiment in writing brief paragraphs about the other stories I've interacted with each week, and any thoughts they might have sparked. It should perhaps go without saying that there may be spoilers, although I'll try not to go overboard.
Movies
Safety Not Guaranteed
We actually watched two movies this week. How weird is that? (We were both sick at different points in the week, so there was more sitting around and watching things than normal.) I liked Safety Not Guaranteed. The dialogue was good, the themes about trying to get back the past were interesting. This movie would probably not have worked without Audrey Plaza, but because it had her, it really did. It's surprisingly sweet.
How To Train Your Dragon
I have just one question. Among these Vikings, why are all the parents Scottish and all the kids American?
Also, Bill and I kept talking for Toothless like he was one of our cats. ("I noms you? Okay, I noms you.")
Overall, this was fine, but not spectacular. I got distracted during the last 15 minutes by some health issues I've been having (sore shoulder), but Bill assures me the good guys won.
Television
The Flash - "The Nuclear Man"
When my husband and I sit down and talk about this show and Arrow, the one thing we often remark on as a strength of both is that they don't drag out secrets. They push the story forward, often in interesting ways, and don't sit on something for a whole season and have a revelation at the end. So in this episode, we not only find out what happened to Ronnie, we find out a whole lot more about the night Barry's mother was killed.
Also, when Joe told Cisco that he thought Dr. Wells was possibly a murderer, Bill and I cheered and high-fived, since we've been saying for a couple of episodes that Joe is too good a detective to not at least explore that. I love Joe. The relationship between Barry and Joe is the best part of the show.
Agent Carter - "A Sin To Err"
Agent Carter has been so much fun to watch. We keep remarking that Peggy doesn't just win fights, she destroys her opposition. There were a couple of moments that stood out for me - the scene in the alley with Sousa (that might also be my crush on Enver Gjokaj talking), and of course Lindsay Fonseca finally getting something to do. I've really enjoyed Peggy's arc, and in general, they've done a masterful job of making the sexism Peggy has to deal with the main focus of the series without making the whole experience less than fun. Bill keeps calling it the anti-Mad Men.
Arrow - "Canaries"
Laurel is not my favourite character, but it's better than last season. This was mostly her episode, coming to terms with becoming the Black Canary. The writers continue to give Emily Bett Rickards the best lines, even when she's mostly in the background, and she just kills them. I would do a lot to have the ability she has at delivering lines perfectly. Also, this was a great object lesson in how to take a reveal everyone has seen coming and turn it on its head. Thea's reaction to finally finding out Oliver is the Arrow was far more interesting than what we were expecting. They also took that creepy DJ and revealed his secret to everyone else only episodes after they let the audience in on it! This show teaches me so much about how the aftermath of a secret is more interesting than the suspense.
Roleplaying
Paper Dolls
This is a hard game to explain. For one, we're playing without a GM or system. If we came up against a point in the story where we were arguing over what was going to happen next, we would probably pull a tarot card and let that guide where it would go. It hasn't happened yet. The biggest innovation in this one, though, is that, with three players, we're each playing three characters, giving us nine player characters. Each of us is playing three variations on the same person - think Fringe, where there are similarities between dimensions, but also important differences.
This was episode 5, and we're continuing to come up with interesting places to take the story, and unexpected outcomes. In particular for me this episode, one of my characters (named Trix) was bound and determined she was going to break up with her cheating girlfriend, but Melissa played the hell out of the girlfriend, and they are still together in a really unhealthy relationship.
Overall, I am having a blast. I miss having a GM sometimes - having to keep that part of my brain awake sometimes gets in the way of immersion into my characters, which is the most fun part of roleplaying as far as I'm concerned. Sometimes it feels like we're reaching for the heavy emotion in every single scene, and perhaps we need to find a way of leavening that with other types of scenes, for flavour and texture.
Seven Stars of Atlantis
My husband's pulp roleplaying game is drawing to a close, and three out of four characters have possession of a titular Star of Atlantis (huge gems with amazing powers). The fourth is the servant of the gems. He's a little worried about the implications of that, particularly since his girlfriend has possession of one of the stones and could make him do whatever she wants. (I play her. She hasn't yet.) Two big bad guys have two of the stones apiece, now bringing all seven on the table. Plus, we met Edgar Cayce this past session!
But what I want to talk about in this space is how I've just figured out what my character's looking for, now that she's not dying anymore. (Her name is Margot.) For the first two-thirds of the game, she was dying from what she thought was an Egyptian curse, but turned out to be a slow-acting poison. One of the other player characters was recently able to obtain the antidote for her, at the cost of seemingly betraying the group. That's going to lead to an interesting conversation in a couple of weeks, I hope.
When Margot thought it was a curse, she drove away the love of her life (Teddy) quite cruelly, because she feared it would spread to him. She decided that knowing he was hurting but alive was better than if he were there to give her comfort and ended up dying alongside her. Also that if he knew, he'd take the risk and stay by her side, something he has since agreed would have been the case.
It was an arrogant decision, as it took it entirely out of Teddy's hands. They're back together now, but in the meantime, he spent a year trying to hate her, and she spent a year afraid, alone, and in pain.
That's all background. This most recent session, Margot and Rex, the dashing adventure hero and her sometime bodyguard, had their biggest fight yet. (There have been a few. From Margot's perspective, she keeps trying to start to make peace, and then gets furious at him. I'm sure it looks different from the other side.) Margot and Su Li, the friend who got the cure for her, also had a big fight not long before the betrayal.
In both cases, people have remarked that Margot really seems to care what the others think of her. She broods on these fights after they're done more than you might think. After the last session, Bill asked if what was going on was that Margot really was afraid of being a spoiled rich girl, even though that's a title she owns to some degree. I think he's right, but I think it's more. I think the last year, in all its isolation and pain, has given her a real issue where she's afraid she's unlovable.
Part of this is that she's focusing on what people say to her instead of what they do, and so she's missing or misinterpreting whether or not they care about her. When Su Li called Margot a spoiled rich girl in the middle of a party and said she cared about nothing but herself, she's been carrying that hurt around far more than she has noticed that Su Li sacrificed her own freedom to get the antidote. (Mostly she hasn't noticed it because it looked a lot like betraying them and using Teddy's life as leverage to get a Star out of Margot.)
When Rex came thundering up the stairs to find out urgently whether or not his helping Su Li betray Margot and Teddy had gotten Margot the antidote she needed, Margot sees the part where he helped betray them, and then yet again forced her health to be a public issue when she was trying to keep it quiet. (She was going to wait until she knew whether or not the antidote worked before she got Teddy's hopes up. Rex forced it out in the open right away.) She doesn't see the part where he was terribly worried for her life.
And she dwells on the arguments, where Rex tells her she is cruel, selfish, spoiled, frivolous, and disappointing, and doesn't listen when she tells him to stop trying to be her "bodyguard, her father or her owner." He does feel paternal towards her, but she sees it as trying to control her life, and she hates it, and feels powerless because he refuses to listen to anything she says.
It feels like everyone is telling her she's horrible. (Since I play her, I'm a little protective. She is spoiled and arrogant. She's also open-handed, generous, loyal, resourceful, and indomitable. Nobody seems to mention those latter qualities.) This is even more of an issue because she's carrying some lingering hurt because Teddy didn't act the way she thought he would when he found out why she'd driven him away.
This one is completely unrealistic, but I think that in the year she spent alone and in pain, she concocted a fantasy about what would happen if Teddy found out she were dying - that he'd rush to her side, swear undying love, and it would all be terribly romantic. She held on to that to keep her going. Unsurprisingly, it didn't happen quite like that. He knew for a couple of weeks before he told her. He didn't sweep her into his arms and swear undying love. He tried to respect what she wanted and keep his distance, which is not what she actually wanted. She wanted him to be so crazy in love with her that he couldn't stay away. They're back together, but it hasn't been that passionate. Worst of all, she discovered an engagement ring in the bottom of his pack, and now that they're back together, it hasn't made a reappearance.
In this case, it's completely unrealistic. Teddy has his own stuff going down. For a long time, she was in too much pain for romance. Still, there's a lingering disappointment, but more than that, an underlying fear that he doesn't really love her. That Su Li was right, he's sticking around out of a sense of duty. That now that she's not dying, he's stuck with her, but he really rather wishes he wasn't.
Add that to big fights where people keep telling her she's a horrible person - and we go into the last two sessions with Margot feeling like most people hate her, and maybe she's unlovable. I don't know what that'll do to the final showdown, but it might do something.
Also, maybe I overthink my characters.
So, if you made it through all that (and I'll be a little surprised if you did), what stories snuck into your life this week?
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